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bORN 1980. BLESSED with a blissful life & loved-ones. MARRIED to my soulmate.iN-LOVE with my tuscon. oBSESSED with matching colors. aDDICTED to food & fun. oVERWHELMED with 'crazy' teens. and...LEARNING to love every moment of this blessed life granted by God.

mY moMenTs

ShangHai-nanjinG trip
4th-12th november
Council Camp
19th-21st november
Hoilday trip to...??
26th -30th november

shopping list

new digicam


from this moment
here without you
i live my life for you



uTTerLy oRange
BLoGGeR fAn OnliNe


December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 November 2007

.my captured moments.


My email

Sunday, January 23

* To do list *

This is to remind me to do some work b4 the weekend ends:

1) Prepare ppt for sec3 bio lesson next week
2) Also prepare notes for them
3) Fill up my EPMS form (no idea how to do that)
4) Mark 2 more sets of assignment
5) Prepare lesson plan for next week

Since its already sunday now....and i've done NONE of the above....
I'm in deep trouble....*sheesh*!!

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 12:11:00 AM

Monday, January 17

* The week's update *

Its been a week since i updated....so guess this in due call.

Nothing interesting about school and teaching...oh ya except thatI was made the Science dept IT rep....and in the National Education Committee..
Took my first minutes during IT dept meeting.....had meetings after meetings....had fun with my classes....

Then @ the end of last week the sec 1s had an orientation day-camp....lasted from morning to nite.... The camp was conducted by this ODAC called FIT... and my my were the instructors fit..haha... Niwaes a little smthg happened that "sparked" my week...*wink*

AND top story of the week........jeng...jeng...jeng...!!
After much mind-juggling and "deep-thinking" I finally decided to watch THE match.....s'pore Vs indon (2nd leg) with shah and lulu...

Yes...yes...so the non-soccer fan was screaming & shouting..Getting all LOUD..... BUT more so for my now-FAV player cum most-valuable player..... Lionel Lewis...he rocks...and he is so darn tall!! Ok so I was ecstatic....so I was totally crazzy & crappy... well dats MY way to truly enjoy a soccer match....lots of screaming...shouting and jumping.....

Reminded me of those days when I was gg goo-goo gaga over the DREAM TEAM singapore.... players like Abbas Saad.....Rafi Ali....Elister Edwards...Fandi.....Jang Jung...V Sundramuthy....
( Gosh! I can still remember their names....!! )

But back then I was only in my teens.... so, fanatical screams and idolisations were the norm....But now?? hehe...guess sm habits are hard to kick....
Niwaes thats just me!! I guess still have a teenager trapped smwhere in a 25 year old body...

Oh ya which reminds me....i turned 25 recently.....(haha...can't u just sense the "excitement" i have for turning 1/4 century old)....well before I forget... thanx to all who have made my bday special.... yes...yes its the same pple year after year...
So thanx ya all.....and after the tiring week and the screaming weekend ...boy do I feel 25.... now just dragging my self thru this week.... crawling towards the long weekend....

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 10:41:00 PM

Sunday, January 9

* Al-Fatihah *


Nothing on this temporary world is immortal....all who has once live will die....
but the memories that remains will be immortally carved in my heart ....it will be here to stay with me as long as there is still a breath in me ......
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory no one can steal....
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

It has been a year since arwah Tok left us....but his loss is still deeply felt.... some part of his life still lingers around....in his children ...in his wife...in his siblings..in his grandchildren....
Somehow things have changed....we are no longer the same anymore...
Its like there is tinge of subtle sadness lingering around us....a man so loved that his death tore us apart ...leaving an emptiness that cannot be filled.....
We are all still grieving...but grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith, It is the price of love...our love for him...

Maybe that's why eversince he left us....sundays have never been the same...maybe thats why the family decided to go to a different house each week....because its just too sad to see the emptiness of his room.....
Its just too sad to shake off the habit of heading to his room first to salam him.....
To not see him on his bed reading his Quran....his favourite one he held so dear....even till his very last moments.....

I still remember the sorrow in his eyes the last few weeks before his death....the sadness that exudes from him....as if he knew he will be leaving us soon....
I still remember how everytime I wanted to go home and salam him he will hug me and kiss my forehead.....as if it would be his last.....as if he knew he will be leaving us soon......
I still remember the pain in his voice when he called for his loved ones during his last few moments.......how he would ask each one of us to forgive his sins .....
And how one by one he would call our names......how through all his pain he still remembered us......but remembered GOD even more

I still remember how i kissed his forehead and told him I love him...........and I could see the love in brimming in his eyes....as if he knew he will be leaving us soon......

Then suddenly he seemed healthier and stronger.....his appetite increased.....his face filled with happiness....his voice filled with cheerfulness.....
I still remember how happy he was to know I got a car.....and how he said he felt healthy enough to take a ride in his grandaughter's car.........
At that time I could no longer control my tears....and neither could everyone else around me.....coz the truth was his heart is failing him...everyday...every moment ...his heart is ceasing to function.....his heartbeat is getting weaker....

But... that was how it was with him......its as if GOD has given him happiness and health in his last moments.....
Just so that he could leave us all with fond memories of him.....

Every day...he would ask to make sure he has his wudhu'.....every day he ask to dress him in his nicest clothes....coz he said he wants to look his best when he meets GOD......
Every day he would ask what day it was......coz he said he always prays to GOD that he will leave us on a Friday....so everyday he would ask what day it was....
Except for that day he passed away.....he did not ask...
It was as if he already knew he will be leaving us soon.........

On his last day...that very last few moments....he woke up from his sleep during subuh.....and sat up on his bed.....then he smiled......lay his head down....and then he left us forever.....

He was smiling... as if he knew he was going to a better place.....

For all the years you've lived, I only knew you for so long
You always kept on going, and always staying strong
To see the strength inside of you, and the courage that kept you alive
So you could keep on fighting for your life, and to the day you still survived

Just because your body isn't here, doesn't mean that you are gone
It only means that this life is over, and to the next one you've moved on
All we ask is that you watch over us, and make sure we're ok
Because without you is unexplainable, it's just too hard to say..

I see all the tears that have been shed, and I promise they're all for you
All our thoughts and hopes that cross our minds, will always be of you
Because when we look outside and there's only bright stars to see
We'll know you're watching over us, everyone of us you see

You might not be around anymore, not today, tomorrow or any other day
We understand that God has finally decided, that you cannot stay.
He's created a place for you, up above and away from pain
Because He knew that here on earth, you'd never be well again

But here we are, still mourning your precious life
Even if it was finally the end, of your lifelong strenuous fight
But today we shall not be sad, because it never will be the end
We shall celebrate your new journey, into the next life that you've been sent

We won't stop crying tears of sadness, pain and hope
Because dealing with your death is just so hard to cope.
But your legacy will live in our hearts, each passing day
We will always love you Tok, and you have our prayer every single day.

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 11:25:00 AM

Friday, January 7

* One year later....... *

Just came back from Masjid Mydin....had tahlil akhbar for the one yr after the loss of a very special one.. It was touching to see all the family members making their way to the mosque after a tiring day of work.....just to say a lil' prayer for arwah tok. All the neneks (tok's sisters)....some of the anak buah....and our own close-knit family.... A year whizz past so fast that it really scares me...
So much more I wish I had done the past year.....so much more to do this year and insyallah the coming years....yet time seem so short....can hardly feel time anymore.

I havent really had the time to sit down and reflect on the past year.....2004 left me and 2005 came too soon.... Already now I'm bogged down with schoolwork... I just want to take a few steps back and take a breather...
I know that the hols was like just over...what? not enough breather??....
Yupz kinda feel "suffocated"...probably bc this time of the year is a painful time for me...for all of us in the HMS family...

Ok I won't start on my melodrama again...will just keep it unsaid....unwritten...
ANyways this year mY main aim is to truly enjoy my work ...no complains...no wallowing in self pity..... Just enjoy every moment of teaching....coz hey...whats better than spreading knowledge to the future generation...right??!!!..
Positive thinking will be my new mantra....
Next best thing on my 2005 to-do-list is plan for my 2006 wedding...Insyallah... Pray that my plans and dream goes smoothly....ok till next time...

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 10:27:00 PM

Monday, January 3

* Chocolate heaven...... *

The last day before school start with a swing....Went for a movie @Bugis....and discovered the new chocolate fondant @papa's beard....

Like what i said in the phlogger....the best chocolate cake EVER!!!!!!!!.....Just look @ the chocolate oozing out..... (do ask the staff to heat it up for u)!

There are even steps for heating and eating the fondant....

This year's resolution: Eat MORE chocolate fondant....haha

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 5:15:00 PM

* Hallo 2005! *

Welcomed 2005 with a bang!!....( sound of crashing jenga bricks).....
Bought the new jenga TRUTH or DARE....very interesting and fun...even had our own kinky made-up truths and dares...and consulting new found gadget the "Magic-8 ball"......*wink*

The sleepover that almost wasnt'....was super fun...and extended from one nite stay to two!! We gemz just cant get enough of one another can we??
Lets see ...
1) There was the late nite make-over and fototaking.....

2) Oily fried-finger food new-yr lunch

3) Late night dinner @ Jalan kayu

4) Very late night walk on "hanging bridge"
5) Even later nite-excursion to west coast park playground(ala pasir ris park)

The last stop was the one that made these "monkeys" go berserk!!.....Tell u these cuzs of mine ...together with that boyfriend of mine....were climbing all over the poles...monkey bar...spider-web....and what-nots.... And I was like the school teacher going...."Ok...5 more mins...then go next station"...haha..Finally reached home @ almost 2am.....What a nite!!

Smile a darlie smile....for the new year!!!....

So did we have fun??
The magic-8 ball said.....

:: shares a beautiful moment :: @ 3:56:00 PM